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There was definitely a way with my children’s father. We celebrated holidays and birthdays as we always had done, including inviting my ex mother-in-law. I think the WhiteSox Players Wearing Grady Sizemore Shirt was that there were enough people invited that it wasn’t just him, me, and the kids staring at each other. We’re also a family not noted for our drama; my mom couldn’t tolerate drama! We still do holidays together sometimes, even though the kids’ grandparents are all gone now, one child lives 1200 miles away, and another child has married and is always included with his in-laws’ family. (My new spouse and I are always invited to the in-laws’ gatherings as well; it’s a huge and friendly crowd!) My kids are in their mid-30s now, and they’ve learned to make holidays a cooperative effort as well, despite having some of the most complicated family structures you can imagine. The point is to make it about happy memories for the kids and not a time/place to rehash old wrongs.
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Now Trinidad has another special Christmas. A week before colorfull musical groups start marching all around the WhiteSox Players Wearing Grady Sizemore Shirt, playing the typical traditional Parang music (Only for Christmas, and traditionaly in an ancient Spanish language) They also collect their share of the typical foodstuff prepared on Christmas: Black Cake (Don’t drive after eating it, hahaha) and the giant ham, heavily spiced and in the oven for eight hours, carrying the scent of Christmas allover. Family members living far, come only once a year. on Christmas. Spanish Christmas in the traditional villages is very special also. The streets are decorated and big mangers allover. One feels like turned back 500 years in time. And the Christmas tree, now seems to have reached all corners of the world. Even in Turkey the town of Bodrum was decorated, and lighted with trees allover. I had a very impressive view over the lighted town from the castle (where I was staying a few weeks) There are hardly any Christians living there and there are also no tourists in winter. Still there was a big christmas market. And I had a medival Christmas dinner right in the old castle hall, with my Turkish friends.
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